The Monster Sandwich

Mufuletta, deceptively light but so NOT!

My other sister is constantly on the tailgate of the latest bandwagon diet fad, from modelling pills which had the same effect as crystal meths to trying out the three day lemon juice flushing formula. I even made her a batch of leek soup for her weekend French diet bootcamp, but it just wasted away for 8 months in a thermos jug sitting forlorn in one corner of the kitchen counter. It was just two days ago that I stumble upon its stagnant swampy existence in the said thermos jug. Surprisingly, it didn’t smell rotten, it just felt real slimy.

Back to my sister whose perennial battle with the bulge is now being contested with juice diet which she’s been undertaking f0r almost 3 weeks now, where she was mostly blenderising cubes of celery, carrots, bell peppers, cucumbers and bitter gourds, all liquified by jugs of Tipco vegetable juice. The results  have not been that visually noticeable but she claims that she doesn’t feel as bloated as before. I have to take her word for that.

Assuming that a sandwich must be light supper fare, she decided one weekend to make a mufulleta sandwich from a recipe published on the April issue of Yummy magazine.  But with 5 varieties of cold cuts (of pastrami, ham, salami, pepperoni, and sausage), and two types of cheese (mozzarella and light cheddar) all layered and packed in one 5 inch hefty crusty wheat roll, what’s so light about this sodium-laden sandwich?

taking out the bread out to form a hollow basket for the sodium-packed filling

a layer of roasted red bell pepprs

a layer of fresh cucumbers

And it was even paired with canned New England clam chowder which was so bland and starchy dense. I tried to improve on it by sauteeing garlic, onions, celery and bell peppers and adding thyme and tarragon while it simmered, and thinned it out with some chicken broth.  It still lacked that distinctive seafood taste which which was compensated by the addition of a small portion of prawn sinigang broth to it.

Gazpacho was a better accompaniment to this monstrosity.

My sister was near puking at the last bite of the sandwich, near fainting and turning almost pale,  and still she’s bullishly sticking to her juice diet. A case of being a glutton for diets?